I Obeyed My Buddhist Spirit Guide. My Suicide Took Me Straight to Hell
Based on the testimony you are about to read, you might presume that I did recreational and illegal drugs for a long time, but I had not.
I first started smoking marijuana occasionally with friends I did not know about drugs at the time. I hated even the smell of cigarettes. However, based on my testimony you are about to read, you might presume that I did recreational and illegal drugs for a long time, but I had not. I first started smoking marijuana occasionally with friends when I was a freshman in college. The one house that I found to live in during the summer of 1998 was actually a house for frequent drug deals.
I started smoking marijuana more than three times a day, every day.. The one house that I found to live in during the summer of 1998 was actually a house for frequent drug deals. Soon, I started smoking marijuana more than three times a day, every day. During that entire summer, I do not remember being sober for a more than an hour here and there.
When the fall 1998 semester started, I was so addicted and affected by drug use that I did not even have the mental strength to go to class. An acquaintance I met at a party smoked with me again during the first week of that fall semester, saying it was marijuana. However, it was not just marijuana. It was actually laced with some of the worst drugs among all the drugs (heroin, cocaine, PCP, etc.) that people on the streets called “deathbowl.”
Meeting Jesus Christ During a Near-Death Experience
When I smoked deathbowl, I stayed up for 10 consecutive nights without any sleep. On the third or fourth day, I began to forget everything, even who I was. I lost the sense of date and time. Around days 8 and 9, my sense of hopelessness, depression, fear, panic, and anxiety reached a zenith. Now I know that it was satan causing such feelings, but at the time, I did not even know who satan was. And without being aware of it, I encountered him with my eyes wide open. He looked just like an ordinary Asian grandfather, and he tried to comfort me saying that he knew how hard my suffering was, and I agreed as he spoke to me.
At the time I did not personally know Jesus Christ and was spiritually blind, thinking this grandfather figure was just another Buddhist god. He appeared to me and said, “Sacrifice your life to me,” and that if I would cut my neck and stomach open to end my life, he would save me from hell—50,000 less years of hell to be exact. I did the math, and concluded that a few minutes of earthly pain is worth exchanging for 50,000 less years of hell.
I remember writing a letter to my mom, specifically apologizing to her for failing her in this life, and that I would go ahead of her into the netherworld and reunite with her there. It was the most depressing, fearful, confusing, and hopeless day of my life and my family’s. I called the monks for spiritual guidance, but they all single-heartedly answered that they were in the midst of a silent prayer and could not talk to me. I was so disappointed at their selfishness. Without God in my life, I had no power at all over the situation and the devil devoured me, or so I thought.
So I did what the Buddhist spirit asked of me. It was day 10 of staying awake, and I was at home with my mom who was in the house somewhere. I went to the kitchen, opened the drawers to look for the biggest knife I could find, and got on my knees. I even had my Jansport bag on my back with my wallet and the Buddhist prayer book in it, in case I might be able to take them to the afterlife.
Holding the knife, I wasn’t sure where or how to begin. So I started cutting my throat and then split open my stomach, bleeding so much that I ended up losing the majority of my blood. When my mom saw me with the knife and bleeding in the living room, she immediately called 911.
The police and other ambulance staff arrived within minutes. This all happened in the city of Irvine, where the police are quickly responsive. Because of my violently agitated and dangerous behavior, the police officers subdued me as I struggled against them, pepper sprayed me, and even had to hit me several times with their batons. The pain was so excruciating that I dropped the knife and collapsed. The majority of the living room carpet was covered in blood, as the apartment managers and my mom recall.
8 Hours in Hell
Steve Kang
When I arrived at the UC Irvine Medical Center, I was fading in and out of consciousness. While in the ambulance and before entering the surgery room, I could feel my soul leaving my body, and I began to have what is called an out-of-body experience (OBE). I actually saw myself on the stretcher and then lying on the operating table, unconscious and laying still. It was the weirdest feeling and sight, to see my own self but to not be in my own body.
Soon thereafter, I started to fall into an endless abyss, with the same feeling as if I was falling in an elevator or going down a hill on a rollercoaster. I expected to go up to Heaven, but the exact opposite happened. After about 5 minutes, I landed in what I now know is hell, according to the Bible. I was suddenly struck with tremendous fear, the fear that I was now completely abandoned, a fear one hundred times more painful than any pain I had ever felt in my earthly life. How did I know I was actually in hell? It was a sight I had never thought of or ever imagined before—and there were countless people there.
In Hell
Demons wearing capes were everywhere, big ones as tall as a few stories and even taller—not the small ones you see in cartoons. I tangibly felt the pain of hell there, and I became conscious of the fact that I was a sinner for the very first time. On earth, though I was not perfect, I was a considerably good person, in my opinion. I never killed anyone or sold really harmful drugs. I lied and cheated, but that was for the “greater good.” Now, I knew I deserved hell, and it was the most painful feeling ever in my heart. The physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional pain there in hell is something I pray nobody feels, not even my worst enemies. Also, I supernaturally knew that I would be trapped there forever and ever.
Only then I realized how wrong the grandfather figure was when he promised to take me to nirvana, and what a grave mistake I had made. The devil came into my life to steal, kill, and destroy me (John 10:10) and he deceived me by masquerading as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14). In the United States alone, an average of 48 people commit suicide daily, or one every 30 minutes. Because of what I did to myself, I was about to become a statistic, forgotten in eternal hell by God Himself and all of humanity and history, forever.
On earth, God shines His sunlight and sends rain even on the wicked (Matthew 5:45). It is called “common grace” in Christian theology. However, in hell, there is not an iota of God or His mercy or light. It was total darkness—there were no plants, no animals, no kids; just people screaming in agony. The pain was so excruciating for me that I could not ask any questions of the others. The ground was so barren, rocky cliffs to my right and left, the sky or space above me total darkness.
As a sinner who deserved hell forever, I experienced eternal separation from God. And yet I was allowed to return to earth to share about its reality. If one less human being, soul, does not go to hell as a result of my sharing, all the pain and agony was worth it! By His mercy and perfect planning and purposes, which I do not fully comprehend, I experienced hell for 8 hours.
When I woke up again, I was told by the medical staff and praying Christians surrounding me that I had two surgeries lasting for many hours, and that I had regained consciousness after a total of 8 hours. The time I fell into hell seemed like a mere five to twenty minutes as I had lost all sense of time due to the pain I felt and the scene I saw. Nonetheless, the fear, pain, sorrow, and despair that the brief experience gave me was so great that I suffered from nightmares and its aftereffects for more than three months. The pain in hell was and is simply indescribable, something no human being should ever experience.
Jesus Christ Himself
Jesus Christ Himself spoke about this place of suffering called hell. I was there where the scorching fire never quenches and the worms do not die (Mark 9:48). I felt the burning heat and the horrors of the darkness myself, not to mention the utter despair. After this firsthand experience of the place that the words of the Bible describe, I am fully convinced and believe with all my heart that the words of Jesus are real and true regarding hell.
Before I opened my eyes again, I did not yet see Jesus Christ, but I heard a voice in my heart, a voice I have never heard before. He said, “No more Buddhism, no more drugs,” and, “I love you.” Unlike Buddha, this Spirit spoke to me.
When I woke up and opened my eyes, I immediately saw the pastors and prayer warriors who surrounded me at the hospital bed. They came to pray for me from a nearby Spirit-filled church called Grace Ministries International in Fullerton, California. At first, one of the prayer warriors looked into my eyes and said, “In Jesus’ name, devil be gone!” I replied, “I am not the devil.” Maybe they wanted to make sure I was not under any influence after what I did to myself.
I briefly described to them what I saw and experienced before I regained consciousness. They all replied that what I had just described is called hell. Then they immediately asked me if I wanted to pray the sinner’s prayer. I said yes right away and remember repeating the prayer immediately. However, I did not feel any better or have peace, so I asked them, “Can I pray it again?” They said yes and led me in the same prayer to make Jesus my Lord and Savior one more time. Then I prayed it again. That day I prayed the sinner’s prayer more than ten times after seeing hell and coming back.
At the time, I felt so fortunate and grateful to have been kept alive and concurrently felt the desperate need to pray that prayer because I was so afraid of the hell I had just seen. I never wanted to go back there ever again.
Face the Terrifying Truth of Hell—and the Rescue That Changes Everything
Is hell real? Can there truly be a place of unending torment waiting in the afterlife? Society dismisses it as outdated, but the truth is far more terrifying—and life-altering—than we dare imagine.
Steve Kang knows. He’s been there.
Raised in a devout Buddhist family, Steve was no stranger to ritual and prayer. But despite his lifelong search for truth, darkness followed him, pulling him into a spiral of addiction and despair. Then, after a near-fatal accident, Steve was plunged into the depths of hell itself—a place of unbearable torment, suffocating darkness, and merciless demonic forces. Trapped and hopeless, he experienced the destiny awaiting those who reject salvation firsthand.
Amid hell’s horror, a miracle happened.
Jesus Christ—the only One with power to save—reached into the darkness and pulled Steve out, delivering him from death and setting him on a new path to freedom and purpose. Now a pastor and evangelist, Steve carries an urgent message: hell is real, eternity is coming, and ignoring this truth can cost everything.
In this explosive, life-changing testimony, discover how to:
Confront the shocking reality of hell and understand what’s at stake for every soul.
Experience the unstoppable rescue of Jesus, who shatters every chain of darkness.
Find freedom and hope beyond the grave by embracing the Savior who overcame it.
Ignite a passion for reaching the lost with the life-or-death urgency of eternity.
Stop living as though this life is all there is. The battle for souls is raging right now. Heaven and hell are real, and the choice is yours. Will you heed the call?
